Ironically, my Facebook account, with which I've attempted to build friendship and community with people in the disability community, has been DISABLED. How's that for a little humor to start off the morn- er, afternoon right? Apparently I added too many friends too fast, so they not only banned me from Facebook, they deleted the entire profile. Now, to give you some perspective, it's so hard to get deleted from Facebook that the New York Times ran an article where they interviewed a man who had to threaten legal action before Facebook removed his information. But because I added too many friends, my profile is not only banned, but removed from all my friends' friend lists, removed from the search function, and likely exists now only in archived copies on Facebook's servers
I'm not one to critique the moderation style on websites I visit (much), but Facebook seems to be looking too hard for ways to make money and make sure nobody else is making money on Facebook, and not hard enough for ways to make the site valuable to users. I didn't get value when I had a Facebook profile from being invited to a million different surveys and applications. I did not get value from being told I was "flirtable" or that I could join a "CSI Addicts" group. I got value from the presence of activist groups and causes, where I could find people with the same interests I had. How did I do that? I added random people from disability and activist groups, people with cool profile pictures or who lived near me, and waited for them to respond.
But that, apparently, is spammer behavior. However, I reported actual spam, comments on a group's wall saying things like, "See me naked 4u on my webcam," and they took over three weeks to be removed by Facebook admins. If a human being had taken 10 seconds to look through the messages on my profile, on my "Wall," or my interests, they would see I'm a human being, not a computer or a spammer, and that I was, at the time when they banned my account, engaged in conversation with a very emotionally vulnerable Facebook friend. Maybe they are too busy collecting sensitive data from users' profiles, including likes and dislikes, and sending it to Google Adsense to bother checking out my profile or deleting obvious spam.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Five Ways to Opt out of Commercialized Romance on Valentine’s Day
After seeing this article on Disaboom, and some blog posts along the same lines here and here, I felt I ought to respond with something for folks who, like me, find the entire idea of Valentine’s Day somewhat absurd. St. Valentine is the name of a religious martyr about whom nothing is known save his name and that he is buried at the Via Flaminia on the 14th of February. There is no evidence that his martyrdom or Canonization had anything to do with love. However, somehow, greeting card companies and jewelers have managed to turn St. Valentine’s mysterious deeds into an excuse to sell huge amounts of product each February. While it’s certainly a good idea to take a day at least once a year to show appreciation to someone you love, do we really need all the Hallmark cards, the dozen roses, and, worst of all, those, “He went to JARED’S!” ads? I think not!
I present to you a list of five things to give on Valentine’s Day that won’t put a single penny in the pockets of corporations who bank on commercializing commitment.
Press flowers together.
A pressed flower is a simple and timeless token of love. It’s a little late to have a flower or several pressed in time for this year’s holiday, but take a walk, roll, or drive together on Valentine’s Day and pick some pretty wildflowers, then lay them flat in the middle of a heavy book. Dictionaries and religious texts works particularly well— and, admit it, you’re not using them for anything else! By next Valentine’s Day, your flowers will be beautifully pressed, and you can start all over with fresh flowers.
Plant something tasty.
Instead of giving a dozen dead plants that will dry out and have to be thrown away in a few days, give a window box planted with tomatoes, basil, rosemary, and other fresh herbs and veggies. February is the perfect season to plant many edible goodies, depending upon where you live. Start them indoors and move them outside as they grow and the weather warms. When you enjoy the fruits (vegetables?) of your labors in the summer and fall, remind yourself that, like gardening, relationships take work but offer bountiful rewards.
Make cards using only what you already have in the house.
Sure, it might be easy to make a homemade card if you’re artistic types and always keep oil pastels and manuscript paper around; but what if you don’t? For even more of a challenge, lock yourselves in separate rooms to make each other’s cards- you can only use the stuff in that room! This only works if you refrain from cheating and putting some artsy stuff on the grocery list the week before. My significant other and I did this last year- he loved his macaroni art card, and I framed the one he painted with my nail polish!
Make your own chocolates and heart-shaped box.
Don’t spend big bucks on fancy boxed chocolates in shiny red and pink boxes. Just melt your favorite brand of non-Valentine’s specific chocolate, mix in some cream, chill, and roll in cocoa powder. See the full (and very easy) instructions here. But don’t stop with the chocolates! You can even make your own box, in a cute little heart shape. Watch the video to see how. Of course, if you’re about as talented with origami as I am, that is to say having the approximate manual dexterity of a giant clam, nobody in their right mind will turn down even unboxed truffles.
Origami: Heart Shaped Box - Watch the top videos of the week here
I present to you a list of five things to give on Valentine’s Day that won’t put a single penny in the pockets of corporations who bank on commercializing commitment.
Press flowers together.
A pressed flower is a simple and timeless token of love. It’s a little late to have a flower or several pressed in time for this year’s holiday, but take a walk, roll, or drive together on Valentine’s Day and pick some pretty wildflowers, then lay them flat in the middle of a heavy book. Dictionaries and religious texts works particularly well— and, admit it, you’re not using them for anything else! By next Valentine’s Day, your flowers will be beautifully pressed, and you can start all over with fresh flowers.
Plant something tasty.
Instead of giving a dozen dead plants that will dry out and have to be thrown away in a few days, give a window box planted with tomatoes, basil, rosemary, and other fresh herbs and veggies. February is the perfect season to plant many edible goodies, depending upon where you live. Start them indoors and move them outside as they grow and the weather warms. When you enjoy the fruits (vegetables?) of your labors in the summer and fall, remind yourself that, like gardening, relationships take work but offer bountiful rewards.
Make cards using only what you already have in the house.
Sure, it might be easy to make a homemade card if you’re artistic types and always keep oil pastels and manuscript paper around; but what if you don’t? For even more of a challenge, lock yourselves in separate rooms to make each other’s cards- you can only use the stuff in that room! This only works if you refrain from cheating and putting some artsy stuff on the grocery list the week before. My significant other and I did this last year- he loved his macaroni art card, and I framed the one he painted with my nail polish!
Make your own chocolates and heart-shaped box.
Don’t spend big bucks on fancy boxed chocolates in shiny red and pink boxes. Just melt your favorite brand of non-Valentine’s specific chocolate, mix in some cream, chill, and roll in cocoa powder. See the full (and very easy) instructions here. But don’t stop with the chocolates! You can even make your own box, in a cute little heart shape. Watch the video to see how. Of course, if you’re about as talented with origami as I am, that is to say having the approximate manual dexterity of a giant clam, nobody in their right mind will turn down even unboxed truffles.
Origami: Heart Shaped Box - Watch the top videos of the week here
Give the best gift of all: Time.
There’s only one gift in the world that can’t be returned, exchanged, or replaced, and that’s time. It sounds totally cliché, but it’s true. So many couples spend their time running around like crazy planning Valentine’s surprises for each other, and run out of time to actually spend together. Stay in bed all evening and just talk. Take time to come up with a list of 100 things you appreciate about each other and your relationship. Improvise haikus about how you met. Declare February 14th official Mushfest Day 2008, and say all the gooey, silly, fluffy, sappy, clouds-puking-rainbows sweet things you can think of.
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